Sudip is a great player. He plays the ‘Blame game’ very efficiently. He has always some reason to blame others for all that happens around him-especially the wrong and the bad things. He always has a stock of words that he could play and orchestrate to see that the other person is blamed.
“Sudip, your performance has not been good in the current financial year and you haven’t achieved even eighty percent of the target” observed his boss.
“You are right, sir. I can hardly deny you. But you know the market sir. It is indeed bad, not bad, but terrible. All unethical and fake games are going on.”
“But all others have achieved their targets.”
“Correct. All of them are the part of that unethical group of cheats. They manipulate people, data and relationships to get their ends. All of them are following unethical practices. You know, I am not like that.”
“Don’t blame others Sudip. You must be able to deliver at par with others You are more experienced than many of them and hence take responsibility for your performance.”
Sudip always finds some reason to justify his stand. And Sudip is not alone. Many of us in our professional life, in our organizational structure, in our personal lives are well tuned to play this game.
Pragati blames her economics teacher for her poor performance. Feroz blames the share market for his financial downfall. Shruti blames her boy friend for landing her in a mess. And most of us play this blame game from time to time. We find comfort in blaming others and think it accords a supremacy to us over others.
Raghu was enjoying his coffee at home. “Darling, Coffee is good today.”
“you mean to say; it was bad yesterday.” Retorted his wife. “I never said that. I said it is good today and hence a word of appreciation.”
“But you always used to complain only.”
“I just thought I can give a word of appreciation today.”
“Thanks. But you are never used to this. Always you blame me only.”
The argument goes on. Lily constantly waits to find some reason to blame him and pick up an argument. It could also be the reverse in many family situations.
Blaming a bus, a journey, a flat tyre, a procession, a companion, the food, the noise, the government and a lot others – most of us are tuned to blame one or the other things to justify our actions.
“The civic body is terrible. They don’t have a right plan of cleaning the roads and collecting the garbage. See, for the last three days how it stinking.” Mr. Perfect has a big diary of complaints against the civic body. But he will not stop throwing the garbage right outside the gate of his house.
“After all, it is their job to clean them.” He would never accept his responsibility for the cleanliness of the city and his environment.
Mr. Dang was posted as the head of the unit that disbursed all payments on the last working day of the month. It was observed invariably that he would take leave on this day for one reason or the other. Reason – he doesn’t want to affix his signature on those cheques. In his absence, invariably the responsibility went to someone else. Dang used to say “the guys in this section are indeed stupid. They do a lot of mistakes and finally, if something goes wrong in the cheque, who would be responsible? If I put the signature, what would happen.”
Elections are fought largely on blame games. "Blaming" helps many to circumvent to direct route to growth, to hide their own stupidity or largely their level of unpreparedness. Very often poor knowledge and skills, poor time management skills, poor decision making skills and poor risk management skills contribute to failures in which the players of the game find both direct and implied reasons to safeguard themselves using this tool.
People engage in the ‘blame game’ for several reasons.
1. Many of them are highly ‘insecure’ and hence find it convenient to pass ‘the burden of blame’ to others. They enjoy an ‘offence’ as a ‘defence’ mechanism.
2. Some of them are ‘self-defeating’ and are not confident of their own profile. Their ‘failures’ are either invisible to them or they do not want to acknowledge their incompetence or inadequacy. A false image of their own blocks them to come to terms with the reality.
3. A number of them are angry with their own selves. Their inability to perform or to relate to others seeds anger on their own status and hence would like to blame others for what they couldn’t do. They find this as an easy way of consoling themselves.
4. A number of people have either no capability of resolving conflicts or putting across a counter-argument to defend their stand. They find it comfortable to blame others in advance before they get an opportunity to advance an argument.
5. Some have poor ‘emotional intelligence’ and hence find comfort in ‘blaming others’ and feel happy when they hear stories of others being put in a tight corner.
Blame games happen at home, in friend’s circle, in professional environments as well as at the community and national levels. It is a psychological inadequacy which becomes a habit over a period of time.
It is quite often seen that people who are habituated to this inadequacy are
a. Poor relationship managers
b. Have low performance levels
c. They suffer anxiety neurosis.
d. They are victims of escapist tendencies.
e. Their growth profiles are often non-linear and distorted,
It is important to train the younger generation to understand the implications of this in their developmental profile. At the official level, periodic trainings from trained counsellors need to be given to employees so that they are able to have healthy developmental and relational profiles in the organization.
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