” Children are at home; I really
don’t know what to do with them” – a number of parents appear to be lamenting.
Many consider their presence at home as loss of their own personal freedom and
find it difficult to engage with them in a meaningful and purposeful manner.
Taking care of them at home, in a few cases, appears to add to the internal
stress of the parents simply because of their lack of understanding of the
child psychology or their developmental process. They seem to take some
authoritarian role to hold them in clutters, restraining their freedom of
thinking and action. Such a situation, has largely arisen, because in the last
decade or two, the social psyche had become excessively consumerist, both
personally and socially, with excessive focus on performance, growth,
achievement, attainment and assimilation. On the contrary, they should feel it
is an opportunity that they have got to consolidate and reinforce their
relationship with their children.
With schools
closed due to the pandemic, there is a compulsory home stay for both children
and a large number of parents and a lot of opportunities to remain engaged face
to face. It is indeed the time for them to understand each other more intensely
and engage with each more closely. What could parents do, during such a time to
engage with their growing children so that their learning curve is continually
empowered?
1. Facilitate
informal learning
Schooling is
only one facet of learning process. A lot of learning happens outside the
school, without the text books, without any designed formal curriculum and in
an informal manner. Quite a lot of inputs gained through informal learning are indeed
powerful, are transferred to long term memory, sometimes they are experiential
and oftentimes it carries with it a lot of emotionally competent stimuli. They
help in formulation of opinions, thoughts, concepts and directions for a
healthy life. Home provides an excellent environment for such learning, as they
happen without any element of stress and in an environment of cordiality.
Further, the learners tend to believe in the authenticity of the content of
learning because it is delivered and gained from their own parents. They
attribute a lot of credibility, reliability and validity to the message they
receive from their parents and grandparents. Such learning inputs reach on the
dining table, on the reading desks, during conversations and at bed time
conversations.
2. Participate and collaborate in
learning
At home, there is a lot of opportunity for
participatory and collaborative learning. Such learning experiences are largely
dynamic, scaffolding, reinforcing and mutually motivational. It is important
for parents to ensure that they don’t display any sense of authority, one up
Manship, intellectual superiority or an ivory tower priestly approach. Such
learning could be by play way methods, sharing of experiences, story telling
and by narratives and anecdotes from the past which help to understand legacy,
heritage and culture. Very often the children get motivated to see parents are
doing the same thing along with them. Such feeling help to effectively mentor
the children in the right direction.
3. Introduce and promote Native
culture
It is an excellent time to familiarise them
with a large number of activities that promote native culture, indigenous
knowledge. Helping them to understand the past is very important as many of
these native experiences are hardly available in text books or other
literature. Playing ancient local games, explaining to them the lives of local
heroes, familiarizing them to the evolution of local culture, folk songs, folk
dances and the like will help them to reposition their conditioned learning in
the schools. Efforts should be made to promote local languages. The richness of
their literature, proverbs and saying from the local communities of the past
will help them with richness of inputs that are hardly available to them
anywhere else.
4. Trigger and Nurture their
curiosity
Curiosity is a powerful tonic. It helps in
building self-identity, self-esteem, self-confidence and a sense of achievement
and fulfilment. One doesn’t need to make a heavy investment to promote and
nurture curiosity. It could just start as a play or as a hobby; then it could
even develop as a skill, as a profession or as a life-time engagement driven by
passion. Allow them to spend their time in drawing, painting, learning music,
play on instruments, writing stories and poems. While using the digital mode is
the order of the day, it is important for parents to encourage children to
engage in real-time and direct modes of experience than through virtual modes.
5. Facilitate in building
Relationships
In an increasingly consumerist society, the concept
of relationships is getting totally redefined. They are presently driven
largely be needs, usefulness, contexts and comfort levels. There is indeed a
need to refocus on relationships as necessities of human engagements both at
the personal and social levels. Hence, to understand the concept of family,
family relationships, family tree and the generational linkages of the families
could be helpful to the young members of the family. Though it might look a
little dis-interesting for them to start with, its relevance and importance
would be understood at a later stage of life. Further, help them to discuss
their emotional and other needs frankly and purposefully with the members of
the family. This would help them to eliminate false sense of ego, self-pride,
misgivings and other emotional infections.
6. Train them in Home-making
Home making is an art and science in itself. It
helps to develop self-confidence and a sense of discipline to life and chosen
personal style of living. Right from making a cup of tea or coffee, to cooking
and home maintenance could help them to develop a self-dependent and self-organized
life style. At no point of time in their life, they would feel helpless, low
and as one who need to depend on other people or systems. Further, it would
help them to understand on understanding the home economics at a preliminary
level. It will also help them to understand the different type of produce which
are in common use, their modes of growth, acquisition, management and their
value in nutrition management. It will help them to understand the cost of home
making, the value of money and the need for objective consumerism.
7. Encourage their Reading Skills
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies...
The man who never reads lives only one.” Says George Martin. “Reading maketh a full man.” Says Sir Francis
Bacon. For those who love reading, it is
said that they are never alone. They will always find a company in each
character of a story, a novel, a play or any narrative. Reading opens the wings
of the mind and allows the reader to travel to any of his chosen geographies,
landmarks of the histories or a situation where they can place themselves or identify
themselves. Reading helps them to identify a spectrum of emotions and helps
them with the ability to handle them with a sense of wisdom and maturity.
Reading helps them to connect the inner world with the outer and vice-versa.
Reading transports them to delve deep into the experiences of people whom they
had never met and thus acquire the essence of all in a very short period of
time. Reading enhances the abilities of comprehension, acquisition of
knowledge, their logical organization, their analysis and their message for
personal utility. Parents should help children acquire good reading habits,
possibly, modelling themselves. It is important to introduce them to the
classics of world literature apart from their preferences to modern literature
and those that excite, thrill or keep them on their emotional launch pads.
8. Assist in building their
Emotional intelligence
In the modern world, there is an increasing
evidence of aggression, emotional outbursts, insatiable gratification urges and
vulgar display of power, ego and authority. The Gen-next is becoming a victim
to these modern trends. Parents should find these periods as excellent
opportunities to talk to them and prepare their psychological profile to become
simple, humble and sensitive citizens. This would indeed prepare them to meet
the challenges of life with better understanding, empathy and compassion. The
parents should help the children to differentiate between ‘money’ and ‘wealth’.
Several facets of wealth like – health, knowledge, relationships, trust, faith,
self-esteem and inter-personal relations.
9. Help them to understand their
spiritual power
Sri Aurobindo considers ‘spiritual education’
as one of the vital components of the learning process. The spiritual power of
an individual is not limited by his knowledge, perception and practices of any
religion, but it extends beyond to his relationship with the entire universe.
It includes his relationship with nature, with living organisms, with creatures
that contribute to the planet earth’s survival directly or indirectly. It helps
to elevate the individual from one’s ‘baser needs’ to ‘the divine power’ where
‘the power of giving’ dominates over ‘the power of receiving.’ It helps the
individual to relate to the entire cosmos in an integral manner and seek a
meaning for the self in the context of the dynamics of the universe. It helps
the individual at all times to win over the self, to battle fearlessly against
all odds, to forgive others with compassion and conviction, to share the
possessions with others equitably. It is best understood as the ‘power of
Being’ than as the ‘power of Becoming.’ Parents can use the interacting
opportunities to enhance this belief in the ‘power of Being.’
10. Build their social consciousness
Social consciousness is a gratitude we express
to the society which lets us to be what we are. The celebration of independence
and freedom is a gift of the society to each of us to celebrate our lives. In
this celebration, it is important for us to let others have their human rights,
basics for living, their freedom to express and communicate, their passion to
pursue what they want to do – and all these under the provisions of the
constitutional definitions. Insatiable consumerism often tempts us to rob others
from what is due to them. Living a life of comfort, when others suffer in pain,
poverty, needs and despair is a negation of social consciousness. Parents
should take time to develop the elements of social consciousness through
appropriate interventions, models and examples so that the development of the
learner is holistic.
As such many of the above suggestions can be
introduced and can become effective only to a limited extent in a formal school
situation. Hence the home-schooling opportunities, as and when available should
be used to cater to these essential life skills.
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