RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT – MANAGING AND SUSTAINING ITS POWER

Relationship Management is both an art and science. It calls for intellectual, emotional, psychological and social constructs that would help in building and empowering it. It is not a volatile, time-bound and need-based engagement between any two entities, but a meaningful purposeful mutually empowering exercise in scaffolding, bridging and structuring the energy systems of both entities for a glorified purpose in togetherness. It needs to be built on empathy, consideration, confidence, trust and unconditional love. It shuns mistrust, falsehood, ego and lack of balance.

It is said that “a great relationship is about two things. First, find out the similarities and second, respect the differences.” It is indeed not possible for any two systems have no differences. One cannot have a zero-difference relationship. It is important; therefore, the relationship is built on understanding and acceptance of individual differences. It would call for tolerance to differences, mistakes, perceptions, views and behavioural systems. Variances, if any, should be ignored, marginalized or accepted. Issues and differences need to be sorted out through dialogue and decisions.

Communication is one vital aspect for building and sustaining the relationship. Oftentimes, one could see good relationships are broken in nano-seconds just by the impact of words. Improper communication, inadequate communication, fractured inputs in communication and conceited communication have the power of destroying relationships. Giving a piece of advice to his son leaving for studies in the University, the grand old man Polonius gives the following advice (in the words of Shakespeare)

“Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;

Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment”

Xavier was standing before his boss in his chamber. “You don’t have to ask me; you can do whatever you want” – the gentleman was loud on his voice. “Why should I tell you what you should do? You have never complied and carried out what I have been telling.” Xavier was silent, because he knew that any answer, he would give to convince the boss will listen into deaf ears. Xavier was not alone, there were others in the team who face the same tonality and taunt. The boss always felt that a good relationship is one where the people simply complied to his orders and accepted the superiority he has gained through his position. Relationships are not built on positions and certainly not on platforms of ego. It is said “Sound can either be noise or music. It depends on how you handle it.” Relationships should be harmonious and should reflect the spirit of music.

The members of the relationship team have to be extremely conscious in dealing with factors that deal with Trust. Hence honesty and truth have to be building blocks of a good relationship. Says Shakespeare in the above eloquent address of Polonius

“This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Quite often, people tend to judge others with their own perception least understanding the environment in which others exist and the impact of various influences on them. It is important to understand that no two systems exist in the same universe of operation and hence need adequate understanding of their strengths and limitations. The famous author Stephen R. Covey says in his book “The Speed of Trust” – “We judge ourselves by our intentions, and others by their behaviour”. Thus, there is a huge difference in the parameters of judgment. “To be trusted is a better compliment than being loved” says George MacDonald.

Rao was heading the team of marketing professionals. He had called Jatin, a member of his team in the morning for conveying a message. Jatin had not taken the call. Later when Jatin met Rao in the office, the boss was furious. “You don’t even have the courtesy to respond to my call.” Jatin replied politely “Sorry Mr.Rao, I couldn’t take the call, because I was in a funeral ceremony of one of my close relatives.” “I don’t care where you were, courtesy demands a response immediately.” Rao did not understand that every individual has some personal space, personal priorities and personal emotional universe. Empathy is important to build a good relationship. Relationships are scaffolded and empowered when there is a mutual respect for personal space and priorities. Relationships do not mean that either of the entities can overpower the other. Consideration for others personal engagements, respect for the emotional and social universe and eco-system of others is imperative to build good healthy relationships.

Good Relationships are developed and sustained through conscious efforts. It calls for unconditional contribution of time and energy from the participants. When there is lack of balance in the relationship, its roots get slowly eroded and moves towards a natural end. When relationships have to be built between two people or systems which are not based on an equal platform, it would a great idea to park the concepts of Relationship on mutual respect and a sense of equity. Excellent relationships are not painted with the colours of positions, riches, standards or differing knowledge and cultural bases. They are safer when positioned through common visions, pragmatic processes and well-defined end goals and mutually accepted strategies.

"Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men", says Albert Einstein